The Search for Caitlin Somers
by Melodic Musings
Summary: Maizie has spent her life falling in love with the idea of Caitlin Somers, her mother. When she turns 17 she decides to do what no one else had the courage to do: search for her. What she finds and what she doesn't find rocks the life of her and her family.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Anything related to Summer Sisters belongs to Judy Blume and her publishers.

**Synopsis: **Maizie has spent her life falling in love with the idea of Caitlin Somers, her mother. When she turns 17 she decides to do what no one else had the courage to do: search for her. What she finds and what she doesn't find rocks the life of her and her family.

**Author's Note: **It is impossible for me to possible describe how much I love this book. I read it twice a year at least and it never gets old. Every time I am left waiting to find Caitlin to find closure, so I decided to make some myself.

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They named her Somers Mayhew Brudegher but her whole life she had never been called Somers, not even when Grandma Abby was mad at her. She loved the name Maizie; there was something mystical and personal about it. Especially when she learned her mother, the mysterious Caitlin Somers was the one who coined the nickname in the first place. She wasn't sure why she never wanted to change to Somers or even May, short for Mayhew, she knew Aunt Victoria used to go by Vix. Abby and Lamb still called her Vix, the way they said her name with such love and affection like she was their own daughter.

Abby and Lamb had told her Victoria was their "summer daughter" she was Caitlin's "summer sister" and from there on, it was history. Vix would tell Maizie all of these fun stories of Caitlin so that she felt like she knew her mother truly, but as she got older, Maizie knew it wasn't true. Lamb laughs when she asks him questions, "There's no knowing Caitlin Somers."Then he starts to cry, the kind of tears he pours every December 8th when he blasts the Beatles and lights a candle for the soul of John Lennon, "A true man" he'd say, "This guy was a visionary, extraordinary."

She wanted to know her mother, but the subject was gray. Hell, even Sharkey only told her the good bits, but she knew there was more to it than that. The way Vix went on about Caitlin was like she was a saint. Maizie would confront her about it every time and Vix would just say "Death makes everyone seem better; it makes even the most horrible villain sympathetic. So it doesn't matter what your Mom may have done, the point is, she was one of a kind, incredible." Maizie didn't know how to take that so she just said, "But we don't know if she's dead."Something hard always flashes across Vix's eyes when she reminds them of the fact that her mother may not be dead, that there was no body found, that even 13 years after the fact, nobody had heard from or seen her, and if anybody had, nobody said a word.

The mystery was too much for her to take. Oh, she grew up well; her Dad was really involved with her life. She loved Bru, she loved Star, and she loved her half siblings. She understood the odd family dynamic of Vix and Bru and Star and Caitlin and even Von but she didn't mind, she embraced it. Bru would never talk about Caitlin, "Let's just say she had wanderlust" he would say, using the word Grandma Phoebe used to use to describe Caitlin. "Just like her mother"she would say, somewhat wearily. Maizie knew Bru still hurt over her mother; still felt the sting of a short marriage and an even shorter time as a mother leaving him with a child he couldn't take care of. Lamb and Abby were good parents to her. Lamb doted on her and when she was a child he would cry often, not so much anymore, he had come to begrudging peace.

Maizie was graduating high school in a month, how the time had flown by. She was staying in Cambridge for school, but her last summer of freedom was fast approaching. She could go to the Vineyard, as always. She had never invited a summer sister of her own, but she stayed in Caitlin's old room she shared with Vix, the giant blow up black and white photograph of them still hung on the side wall. She loved that picture, the summer of her twelfth year she would stare at the photo, moving this way and that, putting her face where Vix's was, trying to find the resemblance between her and the girl in the photo. This was her mother as a young girl. Lamb caught her doing it once and instead of crying he leaned on the door frame, "You look just like your mother, Maizie."When she was young she loved to hear that, but now she was just reminded of how much she was missing.

Lamb had sat her down with Abby and told her that she had a bit of money that was left for her in the bank, "You can use it for whatever you want"Abby said. "What did Mom do with her money?" She asked, even though she knew. Vix had told her Caitlin stayed away for almost two years before she came back, and when she came back she still traveled everywhere. After all those years of traveling, about six by Maizie's estimate, why would you slow down? What made Caitlin decide that it would be a good idea to settle down? Did she really think she could do it? If she hadn't, Maizie wouldn't be here, but would that be better? Who knows?

She says she wants to travel a little bit, see Europe, start in Italy and travel around for a few months. Lamb's face goes ghostly white when she says that, she can see his palms sweat. Maizie encloses his hands in hers, "Don't worry, Lamb, I'm not a runner." He dissolves into tears, so quick to come to the surface. Doesn't Caitlin know what she has done? Abby rubs her husband's back slowly, her sympathy for him never ceasing after all these years. Maizie sighs lightly, "Why does every one cry? Why does no one want to talk about this stuff? If she's dead, shouldn't people be over it by now? Is it because she could be alive?"

Lamb looked up at her, "It's all that and more" he whispered.

"If she left you and cut every one out of her life then that's most selfish thing she could do, if she is dead, we have no closure" Abby answered.

Maizie straightened up, "I would never hurt you the way Caitlin hurt you. I am her daughter, I am not her. I would like to travel for experience and you have my word I'll come back."

Lamb nodded and gave her the laptop to make her travel reservations along with a check to cash.

Abby popped her head into Maizie's room that night, "Forgive him, baby, he'll never stop hurting over this."

Maizie smiled at her grandmother, her surrogate mom, "I would never hold that against him"

Abby nodded, "Vix and Gus and the kids are going to come up to the Vineyard for a few days at the beginning of the summer, so is Bru and your brothers, think you can spare some time for them?"

"Always," Maizie answered. She had some questions for them anyhow.

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**Author's Note: **Please review :]


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Anything related to Summer Sisters belongs to Judy Blume and her publishers.

**Synopsis: **Maizie has spent her life falling in love with the idea of Caitlin Somers, her mother. When she turns 17 she decides to do what no one else had the courage to do: search for her. What she finds and what she doesn't find rocks the life of her and her family.

**Author's Note: **Yay!

**Vix**

Maizie is getting so old, she's a grown up, the same age Vix was when she fell head over heels in love with Bru, the same age Caitlin was when she left the first time, the same age she was when Nathan died. She remembered 17…vividly. She knows Maizie is off to see Europe, _To get some culture and experience _she said. Something behind her eyes said more, she was off to look for her, Vix knew it in her heart.

No one knew about Vix's 40th, not even Gus. She faked a business meeting, really important people to see. But no, the tickets had come in an envelope just like her 30th, with Caitlin's small script on a piece of paper, _Come and celebrate with your oldest friend! _Vix thought it was some kind of sick joke, somebody messing with her, but who else knew what Vix was sure of? From the second she heard Vix knew she wasn't dead and as the years passed she got surer.

When she told Gus about her feelings he just looked at her in a sympathetic way, but she knew. She knew completely. No one could tell her otherwise. She knew Caitlin was alive when she woke up one winter morning at 4am, worried and aching for Maia. Maia, her best friend from college, her roommate till her marriage, she had felt something break inside of her and her worry consumed her. Four hours later Paisley called her in tears; _There's been an accident… Maia didn't survive. _Vix's pain she felt all day tripled and as the tears were rolling down her face. She knew, she knew Caitlin Somers was alive. Because the break that Caitlin's death would cause would be too much to bear, after all, she was _Caitlin Somers: The Most Influential Person In My Life._

So, on her 40th she lied to her husband and jetted off to Italy. Inside baggage claim was the same Caitlin, hair a deep, rich blonde, heels much more modest in height. She reminded Vix for a second of Aubrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's the way she stood, hat poised on her head, shades up over her eyes even though they were inside. Vix knew she had aged 20 years in the past 10, she knew she looked older, haggard. When Caitlin mentioned this later in the car Vix scoffed and said, "Maybe it's because I went through the death of my best friend and picked up her pieces afterward!"

Caitlin took it well when Vix started crying and telling her how angry she was at her. How selfish she was. About how she had been hurting so much for her and that she had missed her. After Vix was wasted of tears and anger Caitlin pulled her close to her chest and patted her hair. _I'm sorry, Vix, I am so, so sorry. _For the first time Vix believed her, for the first time she saw Caitlin cry, really cry, and not because she wasn't getting her way, but because Caitlin understood what she did and how it hurt everyone.

Vix tried to get her to come back to the Vineyard, _To see Maizie and Lamb and Abby. Don't you want to? _Caitlin told her it would be too hard, cause too much pain. She would leave again like she always did. For the past 9 years she's stayed in a country for a year or so, collecting money from odd modeling jobs, designing jobs and writing under a pseudonym. _I'm finally doing all the things I've wanted to!_

_But you're alone, Caitlin._

_That's how I've liked it, Vix. That way I can't hurt anyone with my selfishness. _

Vix shook her head, overwhelmed, confused, wanting to tell everyone, but knowing it would hurt them more. On their last day together Caitlin woke up early and crawled into bed next to Vix, holding her close, breathing her in. Suddenly they were 12 again, Summer Sisters with an unbreakable bond. It didn't matter how much Caitlin had screwed up, it didn't matter how much she hurt everyone, cause she was still Caitlin, she had never grown up enough to understand what real life was like.

That day they talked for hours about Maizie, a strong, healthy teenager with a mind like Caitlin's but the cautiousness of Bru. Lamb and Abby who despite nearing the end of their life were still in fabulous shape, Maizie had made them feel younger. Sharkey, with a boy and a girl, still with Wren, still making big discoveries at M.I.T. People still called him Sharkey, despite his doctorate. And Vix's boys and Gus all living together in New York, traveling north once a month to Cambridge for family dinners Abby had taken to hosting the year after Caitlin disappeared.

"Lamb hired a private investigator to find you" Vix says on the last day.

"I changed my name and didn't stay put for more than a month the first year" Caitlin replied, a sadness seeping into her voice.

"What is your new name?" Vix asked

Caitlin smiles for the first time, a smile she carried when they were 12 without a care in the world, "Cassandra Vixen"

Vix smiled back, "That sounds perfect."

She knew the second she got to the Vineyard for graduation Maizie was going to find Caitlin and she wouldn't stop questioning Vix until she admitted what she knew. She had promised Caitlin not to tell a soul, _It would hurt Abby and Lamb too much. Especially Lamb, it would hurt him so much. _So Vix didn't tell anyone, she wanted to, but she knew Lamb would suffer greatly. He already suffered, he already struggled, for years the name Caitlin would make him cry. She wondered what made him this way; he certainly didn't care about showing his hurt. Tawny came to visit with the Countess once more before she died and Lamb lost it, the look on Tawny's face…disgust, pity. Vix at once respected Lamb more and had unwavering patience in his pain. Something even Vix couldn't reveal.

She walked along the water's edge, closing her eyes and breathing in all the memories of this place when she sensed someone fall into step next to her. She didn't have to look to know it was Bru. Even after all these years she knew what he felt like, what he smelled like. Her feelings for him were long gone, they felt like a distant memory but she shared something with him that couldn't be taken away and that felt good.

Bru spoke first, the years had made his voice deeper, "She's been asking a lot of questions, Vix. She's going to try and find her."

Vix opened her eyes and sighed, "Then let her try, Bru. She won't be satisfied until she's gone."

"What if there's nothing to find? It's been 13 years, she could look completely different. How would Maizie even know? How would she react?" Bru questioned

"Maizie is the spitting image of Caitlin at 17 with darker skin; do you really think Caitlin won't know?" Vix sighs, "She needs to do it, for healing and not just healing for her, but healing for everyone."

"You know she's alive, Victoria" he didn't ask, he said it as a statement. It wasn't a question in his mind.

Vix didn't answer she just said, "It's been a long time"

"When?" Bru asked. Even in a fragment, she knew what he was asking.

"Last year I got one card. Before that the last I saw her was my 40th birthday 4 years ago."

"Jesus" Bru murmured. He stopped, grabbing her arm, "How could you not say something?"

"It's Caitlin, Bru. There is no way I could tell everyone without them hating her." Vix felt hot tears run down her cheeks.

"She's ruined so much, she doesn't deserve the defense." He murmured, trudging back up the hill to the house.

**Author's Note: **Please review :]


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